a kiss on the brain in the shadow of the train

not a happy new year

2009-01-03T18:56:00.004+08:00

While other people celebrated New Year with a bang, I celebrated mine with a damn.

Instead of a happy boom, I faced mine with gloom.

- lonely girl

together!

2008-12-14T18:44:00.005+08:00

YEHEYYYY!!! my mom arrived from KSA this moring! My sister and I were sooo happy! We get to celebrate Christmas and New Year with a complete family! Another thing, my sister's debut is nearly coming and we're getting ready for the big party. ^_^
XOXO

random

2008-12-09T23:07:00.004+08:00

Albeit I'm studying and doing all the school stuffs, I think I am so not productive. I wanna do things like printing shirts for a change, or I wanna buy a new guitar (my old guitar is cracked and worn out already). Ugh. I feel bad for myself right now. I've always been influenced by a lot of people in terms of music, clothing, sports, tv shows, movies and other things. Wonder when I will be able to contribute something to other people's lives. *sigh.

****

Anyway, I've got a new crush...

Alison Sudol (A Fine Frenzy)

One look at her, I thought of Hailey (Paramore) but Alison's hair is orange while Hailey's is red. Love her face, hair and the way she sings. In short, she is <3

1:3

2008-11-23T21:07:00.003+08:00

Sorry but I have to let this one out. Last night, I dreamt about a snake stuck in my cabinet. The image of that yellow snake's tail kept flashing in my head. It was indeed a bad dream for me coz I'm afraid of snakes and am not sure what that dream conveyed. Then I woke up...

Immediately I checked my fone for messages when my eyes popped and my jaw dropped (ok exaggerated) upon reading Hazel's. She said " Krisa, san ka na? Dito na kami. GO!". I was like "what!?where!?" I hurriedly sat up and called her, it was then that I found out we have 6-2 duty starting today till wednesday. WTF!!! I DID NOT KNOW!!!

Thought of going to the Infirmary since I got up feeling nauseous. Today's Sunday, the Infirmary is closed. Plan A: go to the ER. But what am I going to complain about?? Dizziness!? Ugh. Totally bearable. Plan B : use my "Benign Positional Vertigo" diagnosis.Anyway, the Infirmary Physician once told me I have it. Hmmm... Nice choice. I really wanna get checked up. Plan C : Do nothing. Accept my mistake, the consequences and be liable for my actions.

Chose Plan C. At the end of the semester, I'll be having 3 make up duties with financial obligation of 1,100+ php. *Sigh. But I'm gonna look at the brighter side of life -- Having 3 make up duties will help me learn more in the clinical area. Sweet lemoning eh!? lol. What I've learned? Next time, BE RESPONSIBLE!

M.I.A.

2008-11-16T19:18:00.003+08:00

Argh! I missed a lot of happenings! Didn't realize till now that I've been out of the net world for a month! woah! Good thing the router arrived today and was installed asap. Yeah! I'm freaking happy! Gotta do a really HUGE update here and in my multiply account.

^_^

spikes

2008-10-07T19:33:00.006+08:00

October 4,2008
Yey! Finally got my first spikes! wohoo! FYI, i bought it new. lol. I know it looks like I've picked it up from a trash bag or something. lol. They very reason why it looks rubbish is that prior to taking this photo, I've already used it in our tryouts. I didn't wear soccer socks. I'll buy soon.

Every person has his or her "first time". And in my first time of playing soccer in grass, i sucked! lol. I do hope with a lot of practice, I'll be able to play as defense well. Oh an another thing, I'm not really that ambitious to be on the first seven, so being a sub is okay for me. lol. Besides, there are lots of good players in our team. ciao! ^_^

my never

2008-09-06T00:48:00.008+08:00

I can't sleep yet. Finished reading Breaking Dawn two nights ago. It is an okay book but I think something's lacking in the end. Dunno what it is. For me, the "Burn the Book" issue doesn't really apply because they look on the negative aspects rather than the positive ones. It is indeed sort of a sensual book. At first, I was disappointed with how their honeymoon was stated abstractly in one sentence! lol! Not until I read the preceding part. Then i realized that their "honeymoon act" should not be further elaborated. Minors are reading it too! At least we were given ideas about what had happened that night. I do not abhor Bella anymore especially because things fell into their right place at the right time in the book (especially for Bella and Jacob) though it was exaggerated. I'm not used to sleeping at night without reading something. Good thing Stephenie Meyer posted the first 12 chapters of Midnight Sun. I was intrigued with Stephenie's Concert series then I found this beautiful song that really melts my heart whenever I hear it. I believe this song is exactly for Jacob Black and the story behind it is great -- fate.

MY NEVER - Blue October

Will you think about me,
in time?
It's never my luck,
So never mine.
I wanna say your name,
But the pain starts
again,
It's never my luck,
So never mine.

Chorus:
I had a dream that you where with me ,
And it wasn't my fault,
you roll me over,
flipped me over,
like a summer salt.
And that doesn't happen to me
I've never been here before
I saw forever in my never,
And i stood outside her
Heaven.

Will you wait for me,
In time,
It's never my luck,
So I'll say: never mine.
And i lost a lot of what i
never expect to ever
return
I tend to push it 'till the pushing turns from
hurting to burn,
I always take them to the place they always wanted
to go,
Then end up dancing 'round
this clown commands,
applause at a show...

Chorus:
I had a dream that you where with me ,
And it wasn't my fault,
you roll me over,
flipped me over,
like a summer salt.
And that doesn't happen to me
I've never been here before
I saw forever in my never,
And i stood outside her
Heaven
heaven,
inside her heaven,
heaven

And i could only dream of you and sleep,
but i won't see sunlight again,
i can try to be with you , but some how i'll end up just losing a friend,
And i can only reach for you
relate to you,
I'm losing my friend...
Where did she go?
where?

Chorus:
I had a dream that you where with me ,
And it wasn't my fault,
you roll me over,
flipped me over,
like a summer salt.
And that doesn't happen to me
I've never been here before
I saw forever in my never,
And i stood outside her
Heaven
I stood outside her heaven(3x)

Will you let me into your heaven?

current dilemma

2008-08-25T00:22:00.006+08:00

I kind of have a lil prob deciding whether to join our batch's cheering squad or not. I've been cheering for 2 consecutive years already. I dunno why I'm not havin' fun anymore. Course I wanna be part of something in our Sports Fest on October. Seems like our batch has much to offer since cheering practice has already started. There's more sacrifice and effort now as compared to our preparation last year.

I went home last friday at about 11 in the eve coz of the practice and my dad got mad at me for staying out late. I told him we're gonna be finished by 9, turned out we're done quarter to ten! At first he asked me to quit but then with a lil persuation, he let me in again. Whew! I'm having trouble about the schedule of practices. How am I supposed to have fun if almost all of my vacant days were so occupied with cheering practices!? UGH! Hate the thought! And my body's effin hurting! As in all of my muscles, literally from my neck to my leg muscles. I Did something really stupid last friday. Came to the practice late,they've already began, so I started the stretching thing all by myself. The choreo asked me to do crunches. I thought he said 50! So i did 50! My friend told me, its only 15! LOL! One more stupid thing, instead of using my abdominal muscles, I used my neck muscles! I strained it and its like my head is gonna blow! I almost puked! Now I'm a total mess. The meds aren't working to somehow ease the pain. It's so hard to move! ugh!

Another thing is.. okay.. I'l keep it to myself. This reason affects why I'd rather not go to the Intramurals and stay in Zambales instead. T_T. Well, can't sleep. What am I gonna do?Hmmm.

eclipse

2008-08-23T20:37:00.003+08:00

Shocks! Didn't realize that I haven't blogged for so long! LOL! Been busy in school. School drives me crazy. So much to do! So lil time! Lol again. I told myself that I'm gonna finish reading eclipse a month ago, but then it was only last week that I did finish reading it. The story is nice but Bella... ugh! Bella is such a flirt. Ok, I'll shut up. Edward honey (lol) is so gentle and decent while Jacob is funny and sometimes impolite. No wonder Bella fell in love with both of them. Why can't two personalities combine? Its a package. But good thing Bella only chose one. Coz she has to choose only one. There's always a winner and a loser. Anyway i'd rather she select Edward but some of my friends prefer Jacob in Breaking Dawn. Wonder why. Anyway, I'm excited bout Breaking Dawn. I might buy my own book next week. Yey!

Sad news

2008-08-10T11:49:00.004+08:00

Remember when I was talking bout the mom who almost died coz of giving birth? The mom who had her uterus removed? She's already dead. Two days after her delivery, she didn't survive anymore. It was so frustrating and gloomy to hear such news as that but life is life. We don't own our lives. We cannot even predict when our time to die will be. I pity her kids especially her new baby. I do hope the blame won't be put on her.

DR-CHA

2008-08-03T22:46:00.007+08:00

For the past week, from July 28-31, my duty was at the Delivery Room - Charity of UERMH. I was not so excited to be there unlike when I was at the Nursery -Cha. Dunno why, maybe coz I prefer taking care of newborns instead of watching the moms give birth. Our major task there was to accomplish 5 cases of handled and assisted births. Since there weren't plenty of women who gave birth, I had only one assisted case. It was the first time that I actually saw a woman labor and deliver a baby. Me and my female groupmates were like "Omg! I don't wanna get pregnant anymore!". It was soooo painful! Really! Life's unfair! UGH! Every woman has a menstrual period and experiences dysmenorrhea. We get pregnant for nine straight months and then we give birth. Well, that's life. Who am I to question life? Those women who give birth at DR-CHA were not lucky enough to have spinal column anesthesia because they were at the charity area. All of the deliveries we had witnessed were Normal Spontaneous Deliveries because all the Ceasarian deliveries were done at the Operating Room and DR-Pay. My favorite part of the delivery is during baby out and the part that I hate the most is when the perineum is cut and is stitched back.

There was a time when we had a patient who almost died coz of giving birth. After the baby and the placenta were out, she had severe uterine bleeding which lead to severe blood loss. She was so toxic that the physicians decided to remove her uterus. Lucky for her, she had 2 living children because she can never conceive again. Ever. I realized that our moms really had a had time carrying us in their wombs and giving birth to us. I cannot deny the fact that in the future, one day, Im gonna get pregnant too. We should not only celebrate our birth but also our mothers' survival.

certified belayer

2008-07-29T19:51:00.008+08:00

June 26

We did wall climbing as part of our requirements in English. Lol. You read it right, wall climbing in English subject. We had to do something that we haven't done ever and we should make a presentation about what we have learned during that particular activity. At first we planned on climbing at Powerup in Silver City, Pasig but the people there looks professional and intimidating so we went to Powerup in Old Balara, T.Sora instead. The gym there was not so classy unlike in Pasig but it gave us a friendly ambience most especially coz many UP students were having their PE there. We learned a lot from the experience like belaying and climbing. Alex and I climbed four times. Lol. Our last climb was at the kiddie wall but we tried to step on the stones with yellow slashes only. We found it hard to do so but we tried our best to reach the top. Not only the whole body is working at that time, but the brain as well because the coding on the stones stimulates thinking ability. It was so fun and challenging since there are 10 walls with various difficulties! Our group planned on climbing as often as possible. Since it was our first time, we weren't able to stretch our muscles well so we felt pain on our legs and arms. Anyhow, its still worth it! I'm excited to do it again and increase my level. LOL

Ugh! I couldn't post my belayer card photo! loser!

rain,rash,rush

2008-07-16T20:24:00.003+08:00

What a day! Last night i was hoping that it would rain today and it did! Thank God! I was able to hide my rashes in my arms and hands. Good thing, my community instructor honoured my medical certificate and asked me to undergo what the others have been. Except for the implementation and group matrix phase. I still have 2 days of make up duty. But its better than making up for a week! She just asked me to submit a critical paper about their presentation tom. Eeek! What am I goin to write!? I dunno! No idea! Lol.

I was supposed to choose a family with a newborn but i ended up assessing a family with an infant. This was because I thought that a child below 1 year old is considered an infant. Oh well stupidity strikes again and I'm damn wrong. Newborn is from 1-28 days, infant is from 29 days to 1 year old and toddler is from 1 year old to 3 years of age. Lol.

Anyways its okay. The guide for newborn and infant assessment is almost the same. There's so much to complain about. My allergy's wellnes state is not improving even a bit. Ugh! I'm gonna go back to the doctor tom or the next day. I'm so much worried about myself. Am i gonna die? coz it feels like I am gonna pass out.. soon. Lol! just kidding.

*sigh! I'm gonna have to start doing my paperworks now coz its due tomorrow. Nytie bloggy.

itchy allergy

2008-07-15T18:19:00.002+08:00

I'm goin to bed early tonight coz I have to wake up at 4am for my community duty. I texted my professor if I could help with the Family Nursing Care Plan and Implementation tomorrow but she didn't answer my question! Ugh! Instead, she just told me to be there.

My dyad partner told me that I might not be included in the Implementation proper coz I missed 2 days of assessment. So, i guess I'm gonna be having a make up of the whole community week! So embarassing! I can't blame my hypersensitivity reaction but rules are rules. Another not so nice thing is my rashes haven't even subsided yet!

I hope it will rain tomorrow. Since my uniform is white, I'm gonna be wearing a white jacket to hide my rashes. lol. As if i could hide all of it! UGH! I know im not yet ready to go to school coz i need more rest but i have to or else... i dunno.. I'm gonna miss a whole lot more! *sigh

forever in our hearts

2008-06-26T21:24:00.005+08:00

June 21, 2008 my mom went to her parents' house for a visit because she just got home from Saudi. Nanay (my grandma) told my mom that Tatay (my grandpa) is not feeling well and is having a difficulty in breathing. So my dad and my mom rushed Tatay to the hospital for a check-up. It was olny then that they found out that my grandpa has a serious disease. He was diagnosed with pneumonia and leukemia.

When my mom called me to inform that Tatay is in the hospital and was diagnosed with leukemia, I couldn't believe it. So I cried and prayed that he will soon get well. The next day, June 22 ( Sunday), my parents were supposed to come to Manila for a weekly bonding. I asked my mom where they were and she immediately called me to break the bad news. My grandfather died at 4 in the morning. His leukemia was acute and was really fatal. I could hardly believe what she said. I wished I was just dreaming. I hoped I didn't hear her right. But it was so clear, true and real. My grandfather who took care of me for 5 years when my parents went to abroad was now gone.

I cried my heart out. It was so painful. I really love my grandfather so much! He never scolded me or any of my cousins. He doesn't complain about what he is feeling biologically and prefers to be quiet about it. All I could remember were the blissful and fun moments me and my cousins had with him.

I believe that God has a better plan for us than we have for ourselves. Maybe, He took my grandfather because He doesn't want Tatay to suffer more. He chose not to prolong my grandpa's pain. People come and people go. It is sad but true cliche. We just have to accept the fact that in our biological life, nothing lasts forever.

I will never ever forget my grandfather and all the good things he had done for us. We will miss surely him. Even though he is not physically present, his memoirs will always be kept alive in our hearts and minds... forever.

N-CHA

2008-06-20T19:31:00.003+08:00

As part of our requirements at the UERMMMC College of Nursing, we were assigned at the Nursery-Charity (6am-2pm shift) for our hospital duty. Our primary goal of being there is to perform or actively participate in 5 cases of cord dressing. Before the newborn baby is assessed and bathed in the nursery ward, its umbilical cord is clamped and cut in the delivery room but the umbilical cord is still long. Cord dressing is the milking, cleaning, clamping and cutting of the umbilical cord to make it shorter. Probably at least 2 inches.

Our group was not so lucky because we only had one case meaning that during our 5 day shift at the hospital, only 1 woman had given birth. More women usually labour between 10pm and 6am. Too bad for us, this indicates that we have to have on-call duties and it is usually done on Sundays! shix!

Before the first day of our duty, I didn't know what to do and what to expect in the ward since its my first time there. N-CHA is a sterile place so we were asked to wear white stockings, white scrub suit, white shoes, a cap and a mask to prevent transfer of microorganisms to the babies since their immune system is not yet well developed.

I have learned proper ways how to handle a baby properly, how to make the baby burp, how to change diaper, how to inject a vaccine and so much more. There's this one cute chubby baby girl who was there from the first day of my duty up to the last because she had fever. I took care of her for two days. When she's sleeping, she smiles and a friend of mine told me that her mom used to say that babies smile while sleeping because they dream of laughing and running with their angels and they suddenly cry because they stumbled. I find it so cute!

I should have taken a picture of myself or of the babies but i think its prohibited to do so. I miss the babies badly. I miss their loud cries which means they're hungry, they have a poop or they just wanna be carried. I wanna go back to N-CHA and I'm sure I will because i still have to accomplish 5 cases. :)

I knew my post would be so long! LOL. Anyway, I haven't blogged for days and many things had happened. So long!

there you are!

2008-05-27T20:29:00.003+08:00

This should be posted a day after my "Where are you!?" article. I did find the key on the same night inside my cabinet hidden under some clothes. Then, I remembered acceidentally placing it there while preparing for school. Tsk! Short term memory turned long term. Key found! yey!

where are you!?

2008-05-22T22:36:00.004+08:00

I am so FREAKIN EFFIN PISSED!!! I wanna cry!!! I can't find my drawer's key! ALL my money is in there and I don't know how to open it without the key! I've been lookin for that stupid key and its nowhere to be found. Oh stupid stupid me!!! I can't remember where I placed it! ARRGGHHH!!!! And yeah! it has no duplicate or whatsoever!

Gotta find it.. NOW!! or else, I don't have money for tomorrow. Bin and I are goin to the mall for our final date before he leaves for Australia. Me and my sis are never gonna be able to enroll. :'( well, goodluck to me. >;(

hard to get

2008-05-15T20:56:00.023+08:00

I have been going to different branches of National Bookstore and to Powerbooks in Megamall trying to find an Eclipse book and all I've been hearing were: they don't have it or its out of stock already. Ugh!

The other day, I went to Fullybooked in Gateway to pry about the book hoping that I could buy it in that particular moment. Unfortunately, they said that it was sold out already. Good thing the lady at the counter asked me if I would like to be updated in case the books arrive. So I gladly filled up the paper she handed me with my name and contact number.

Then yesterday, in the middle of my boring microbiology class I was surprised and ecstatic when I got a text from them saying that the book is already available and if i still want to purchase it, they could have it reserved for me. Of course I replied right away and said that im gonna buy it today. Tadaa! I now have the book in my hands and I'm planning to read it after I shut this laptop down. lol

Oh nooo!

2008-05-13T21:42:00.009+08:00

According to some sources, the showing of Twilight here in the Philippines is not gonna be on the 12th of December! Some say its because of the Metro Manila Film Festival (MMFF) which is an annual celebration held every December. Arggh! So disappointing! Me and my peers are very much excited about the movie. However, some friends told me that it might still be shown on the said date but only in Ayala Malls, Promenade and Shangrila. Anyhow, I'm very determined and I'm gonna watch it on December wherever it will be shown. LOL.

Who knows? Its just a hearsay, may be true, may be not. Hope not. LOL

buff stuff

2008-05-01T02:02:00.012+08:00

Yesterday, i slept at around 4 in the morning cause i finished watching Nana movie. Really, I like it sooo much! Felt like going back to my old genre -- rock. I like the sweetness, the melancholy, the angst and the way the characters played their parts. Plus points for the view outside the window pane. I enjoyed every part of it. In fact, I cried on some of the scenes which I found very touching. So staying up so late combined with a lot of crying made my eyes seem as though they were bitten by a cockroah. Lol. While watching the movie, I then realized that Nana means 7. My tita taught me the Japanese words for numbers 1-10 a long time ago. ichi, ni, san, shi, go, roku, nana, hachi, qu, ju. This is as far as I can remember, not sure if its correct though. Lol. There are 2 Nanas with different personalities staying in room 707, nice concept. Fate has brought them together. I can hardly wait to watch the second movie. Too bad, I couldn't find any in the net :(

Before I go to bed tonight, I'm gonna finish first the Gossip Girl dvd I borrowed from trek. Hmm.. I'm not yet sure if this tv series make sense. In the beginning, it's just so full of... gossips. Lol. Maybe it does make sense! It's just the 1st season anyway. Okay im up to 3 more episodes/20. Yey!

"You know you love me. xoxo. Gossip Girl". Lol